Don't Run

Don't Run

I pursue you and you flee the opposite way

I speak softly while you ignore what I say

the further you run, the more you forget

that in my presence is the only true place to sit

away from the fear and pain of this life

allowing me to carry every worry and strife

for my yoke is easy and my burden is light

when you cry out to me in the dark of the night

so don't turn your face when I call your name

and I promise, my child, you'll never be the same

 This is just a poem I wrote for this new year... I guess I felt that during the end of this past year, I was running from God and not seeking Him.  I kind of lost my desire to know Him and grow in Him... I prayed for God to light a fire in me and wake me up to the wonders of His love and He answered my prayers, as He always does.  Thank you God for loving me and desiring me even when I ignore you and for never giving up on me... Help me live every second of my life as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to you, my Lord.  

After my last post, I've found some scripture to help me with being a true and genuine Christian.  Romans 12:9-21 is about the marks of a true Christian.  I read through it and looked up synonyms for some of the words to help me better understand.  Here are some things I'm going to work on and my explanation of them:


1.) Love genuinely- I love this and I think it applies perfectly to me here at Liberty.  God calls us to love everyone as He loves us and as much as I try to do that, this is a good reminder to not just love people, but to love them genuinely.  Genuine means to be real and authentic and honest, and so I'm going to strive for genuineness in my relationships and to love them how I am loved by my Father.  


2.) Hate/ abhor evil- This one is tough, I feel like I so easily forget to hate what is evil.  I become callous to it until I don't really notice anymore and it doesn't shock me anymore.  For example curse words, after a while, I'm not as aware when people swear or when I hear it in music.


3.) Don't be lazy in determination and eagerness- I have become lazy lately in my determination to spend time with God every day and instead have put other things in front of what is really most important.  I think God rewards those who aren't lazy in their eagerness to live every moment for His glory. 


4.) Be enthusiastic with Spirit and your soul- The word for this in my Bible is fervent.  I looked it up and another word for it is burning.  I thought that was really cool how God wants us to be so enthusiastic in our souls that were burning for Him.  I want to be so on fire for God that other people will watch me burn. 


5.) Rejoice in hope- I like this because Paul doesn't just say to have hope, but to rejoice in it!  We should be joyful and happy in the hope we have through Christ!


6.) Be patient in trials- I've learned this one this semester, but it is true that when you're in the midst of the trial, it is hard to understand the purpose, but by persevering with patience, everything becomes clear and you can see how you have grown through the trials.  


7.) Pray constantly- This is another thing I have definitely messed up with.  Praying is so important and it is so neat to me to think that all I have to do is call out to God and He hears me and that He knows exactly what I'm going to say before I say it.  But it is also hard sometimes to know that He hears me when I feel alone and helpless.  But I know that I will be blessed through perseverance.  


8.) Seek to be generous- The last thing is not just to be generous, but to seek opportunities to show God's love through generosity.  I definitely want to work on this, especially during the Christmas season.  I am blessed with so much and if I have the opportunity to share my blessings with others, I definitely want to do that.  


So I've learned a lot through Paul's wisdom and it really helps put things in perspective and helps me focus on things to work on so that I can be a true Christian striving to glorify God in all I do!

Just thoughts

Lately, I've just felt no desire to read the Bible or spend time with God.  I'm struggling with what it means for me to be a Christian.  I find it difficult to be real and honest at a Christian school.  I often feel like people wear a mask and hide who they really are.  Everyone appears to be the same: a perfect Christian who reads their Bible everyday and has everything together with no problems.  And because it is a Christian school with high standards and harsh punishments, people tend to hide sin and do things in secret while still outwardly appearing to be righteous.  It just makes it hard to trust and understand people and it makes me scared that I'm the same way.


I'm just wondering if a Christian school really makes sense.  Jesus' best friends were his disciples, but he didn't spend all his time solely with other believers.  He made friends with the beggars and prostitutes and tax collectors.  I understand the importance and need for fellowship with other believers, but I sometimes feel like Liberty is just a big bubble of the same kind of people, or at least people who all act the same.  I wonder if it would be different if I went to a secular school where people could be who they really are and not hide behind a pretense.  And then, Christians would be tested in their values and could stand firm and stand out for Christ a part from the world.


I'm not trying to be judgmental at all, just reflecting... and I started this post out by saying I haven't had the desire to spend time with God, I don't know how much worse you can get than that.  I want to live my life for God's glory, but I want to be real and not hide all my struggles or pretend they don't exist.


Just please pray for me, that God will give me a hunger and a thirst for Him... and that I will fill it with Him.


Thanks, Cameron

A New Day

Well, a best friend told me I needed to write, so I will.  First, I just want to say thank you to that friend... you're amazing and encouraging and you've made such an impact on me and I'm truly so grateful for you.  


So, I guess I should write about the biggest thing that has happened in my life recently, but I don't feel like talking about it much anymore, so I'll be brief... I was in a car accident on the interstate coming home for Thanksgiving break this past Friday.  An 18-wheeler started smoking and came to a sudden stop.  I was two cars behind it and couldn't stop in time to avoid colliding with the car in front of me.  My airbag deployed and it burned and bruised my wrists.  They thought it fractured my wrist, but it feels better now so I don't think I'm going to get the MRI.  I cut my foot and was sore for a few days, but other than those minor injuries, I'm lucky to be alive.  My car is pretty much totaled and I was pretty shaken up after the wreck so it took me a while to calm down.  But I went to my car to get my license and there was a piece of paper randomly on my seat.  I picked it up and flipped it over and saw that it was a card with Scripture on it that my mom had sent me a few weeks back.  The card was Psalm 137:8 and it read: "Though I walk through the midst of trouble, you preserve my life."


 When I read that card, I just felt like God decided to give me life on Friday.  He could have taken it, but for some reason, He wasn't ready for that yet.  And so, I know that since He isn't ready for me yet, He still has plans for me here.  I already owed God my life, so now I double owe Him.  I'm ready and willing for whatever He has in store for me.  I'm grateful for each day and grateful that I know the love of Christ.  I just desire to be a good steward of the gift I've received and be pleasing in the sight of the Lord.  


I like how each new trial I face just puts things in perspective.  It's like each thing that happens reminds me that God is in control and I can't help but trust in Him... I am helpless to guide myself and I don't even want to try.  I'm thankful for so much this Thanksgiving and I know God is good and faithful to complete the work that He begins. 

Praise

A friend just showed me this cartoon and I thought it was really good... it really does put things in perspective and I kinda relate a lot to this.  The question shouldn't be 'why' when tough things happen but 'how' can I glorify God through my situation.  God allows all things for good and for His glory... like when Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and unfairly imprisoned for so long.  He couldn't see the purpose for the agony he was going through but God knew the whole picture and used Joseph's suffering to save his people.  I want to be like Paul who rejoices in the Lord through his sufferings, confident that they are accomplishing good and furthering the Gospel.  Praise is so important and I think that through it, we can better see ourselves and tune our hearts to be more like God's.  For me, praising God through every situation allows me to become more aware of my own self-righteousness, self-pity and pride.  I can release these things to God and praising Him tunes me in to His guidance.  When I face struggles, I want to be able  to say, "God I don't want you to remove this problem until You've done all You want to do through it, in me and in others." 

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!  Romans 11:33

Rainbow

After I wrote my previous post this morning I was thinking about how it always seems like when it rains, it pours... well the amazing thing is that after it pours, God sends a rainbow... I know it isn't for me but the gorgeous one that stretched over campus this afternoon just warmed my heart and made it so clear that God is in control and my problems are so minuscule compared to the joy of spending eternity with my Creator!

The view from above

"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." James 4:8


The past two weeks of my life have been crazy.  When it rains it pours, and when a few things go wrong, it feels like everything just crashes.  But it's also times like these that draw me nearer to God.  I want to shift my perspective from focusing on my circumstances to focusing on God's faithfulness.  And I want to understand what God is trying to teach me through these experiences and how I can persevere and praise Him through the pain.  I want to draw nearer to God through my adversities and be refined by the fire rather than destroyed by it.


I've been thinking a lot and have some questions to ask myself in times of struggle:
1. What if this isn't the end but a new beginning?
2. What if the answer to my prayers is just over the next hill?
3. What if this is necessary for me to be prepared for the next situations in life?
4. What if God knows exactly what I need at this particular time?
5. What if God is speaking to me through means I would not have chosen for a blessing I cannot see?
6. What does this experience make possible?
7. What can I tell others what I learned was so valuable in this season of life?


My life is like that of a little girl sitting at her mother's feet.  She is looking up at the underside of her mother's sewing confused by all the knots and tangles of thread and messiness of the piece.  She questions her mother, upset and asking why she can't see a picture and why it just looks a mess.  The mother then lifts the little girl and places her on her lap so she can see the view from above.  And at once the knotted thread and tangles disappear and a beautifully clear scene is before the child's eyes.  God's view: perfect, clear, purposed and breathtaking.  My whole life, all I see are the tangles and knots of uncertainty and adversity and my struggle is to remember that God, who is in control of it all, has the view from above and has a perfect plan for the masterpiece of my life.  And what I don't realize is that the tangles are what makes the view from above so beautiful.