Just thoughts

Lately, I've just felt no desire to read the Bible or spend time with God.  I'm struggling with what it means for me to be a Christian.  I find it difficult to be real and honest at a Christian school.  I often feel like people wear a mask and hide who they really are.  Everyone appears to be the same: a perfect Christian who reads their Bible everyday and has everything together with no problems.  And because it is a Christian school with high standards and harsh punishments, people tend to hide sin and do things in secret while still outwardly appearing to be righteous.  It just makes it hard to trust and understand people and it makes me scared that I'm the same way.


I'm just wondering if a Christian school really makes sense.  Jesus' best friends were his disciples, but he didn't spend all his time solely with other believers.  He made friends with the beggars and prostitutes and tax collectors.  I understand the importance and need for fellowship with other believers, but I sometimes feel like Liberty is just a big bubble of the same kind of people, or at least people who all act the same.  I wonder if it would be different if I went to a secular school where people could be who they really are and not hide behind a pretense.  And then, Christians would be tested in their values and could stand firm and stand out for Christ a part from the world.


I'm not trying to be judgmental at all, just reflecting... and I started this post out by saying I haven't had the desire to spend time with God, I don't know how much worse you can get than that.  I want to live my life for God's glory, but I want to be real and not hide all my struggles or pretend they don't exist.


Just please pray for me, that God will give me a hunger and a thirst for Him... and that I will fill it with Him.


Thanks, Cameron