Perfectionism

I have been a perfectionist since I was three years old and sat down on the floor for 3 hours until I learned how to tie my shoe exactly right.  It can be a good thing, but for me as I've grown older, it seems like it has mainly held me back and hindered me.  I am an athlete, so of course striving to do my best in everything I do and hard work is a part of every day!  But tennis is a way too much of a detailed sport to be concerned with every single shot, every point, every serve, every stroke, every match being perfect.  That is where my problems come in.  I'm not happy with myself unless I do each thing exactly so... if I hit a winner down the line and I meant to go cross court, I get upset!  And then I beat myself up over every mistake.  I don't really understand why I'm so hard on myself but I am my worst enemy and it's holding me back.  And confidence is another big issue.  I am so afraid that I'll come across as arrogant that I'm scared to be confident.  I tell myself I'm bad at tennis and tear myself down cause I don't want to think I'm good.  I just need to realize that no I'm not the best player in the world, no where near, but God gave me a talent with which to glorify Him and if I am going to tear myself down, I'm making it more about myself and less about God... If I keep it up, I'll miss the opportunities altogether to point towards God.  I'm coming to realize more and more that my goal and purpose in life is to glorify my creator in everything I do.  So when I play tennis, there is no pressure because the outcome doesn't matter as long as I give it all I have and as long as my play and attitude and body language reflect God and His glory, then I can't lose!  I feel so blessed to have such a freedom in my life, and also so burdened for those who don't know the Lord.  I can't imagine living everyday without assurance of God's love and promises and without knowing eternity is waiting for me with Jesus ready to receive me to His kingdom with forgiving and loving arms opened wide!  But I just found out tonight that I am going to be co-captain with one of the seniors on our team this upcoming year.  I don't know exactly what to think and to be honest it scares me.  But it makes me excited because I feel like God is just using me and putting me in positions that glorify himself and allow me to do that.  So I'm really grateful but definitely petitioning His help cause my confidence needs a lot of work and to be captain of a team is not going to an easy task.  But thankfully, God will walk with me every step of the way and I know that He is in control and I completely trust Him, so I'm just along for the ride!